Wednesday, April 13, 2011

On Poetry, Experiences and Whatever Else I Feel Today...

I miss writing poetry but I am glad that I don't have that boxed-in feeling anymore. I feel compelled to write but I used to feel like my head would explode if I didn't.

I use to write to understand myself and I sort of still do but now I mostly write to understand life--to make sense of myself in it.

I used to lock myself in my room as a kid and write and write and write because it was my form of therapy. I would cry and scream and laugh and feel so many emotions all at the same time. After I wrote a poem, a sort of calm would come over me and I'd start to feel better. I am happy I did this because I have so much material to look back on and remember the different phases I went through. 

I don't know if I'll ever reach that point where I've uncovered it all--digging through the sands of time to reach the diamond holding life's true meaning. But I do think that by digging, I become clearer at how I understand angles and reflections. 

Each of our experiences are different so we must choose our own individual way or ways in which we attempt to make sense of them. At one end of the spectrum, sometimes you become so busy that you don't have time to stop and think. Then all of a sudden, things slow down and you have this pile of experiences to decipher and organize all at once.

At the other end, if you spend all of your time analyzing and contemplating--life speeds by you and you miss the hustle and bustle that keeps you lost in the moments. 

So I guess we have to--or I have to create a balance. 

In order to understand my experiences, I must live them.
And while living these experiences, 
I must remember to step back in order to understand them. 
Life between living. Living between life. 

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